However, I came across a quote yesterday which addresses another part of apt speech, namely, NOT speaking. The quote, by Dorothy Nevill, goes, "The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
While pondering that thought, I learned of an instance where someone, who should have held his tongue, didn't, and hurt those he was speaking about, and also himself.
Why are we so afraid to pass up an opportunity to "set someone straight" in lieu of a more appropriate time? Likely it's the fear that we may never be given another opportunity. And, of course, what we have to say MUST be said! How true it is that, "No man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison."
This inability to control our tongues is what causes husband or wife to exploit the intimate secrets they learn about their spouse in order to inflict the sharpest pain to the one they claim to love.
It's what causes a father to wound an unruly child when he takes the child's testing of his authority personally.
It's what causes a man to shout a racial epithet at a neighbor who can't seem to contain his dog.
It's what causes one person to belittle another because he views the others beliefs as a threat to his own.
And, finally, it's what "corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."
Sometimes, even when your whole being is bursting with something that you feel must be said, if the time is wrong, or if you can't find words that edify, it's better just to keep it to yourself. Bide your time and look for the right words and the right time. If they never come, at least you've done no harm.
Posts
These were words "fitly spoken", my Love.
ReplyDeleteOur television examples are rife with this. Our politics are now about blaming and pointing fingers at the other side, and it has not brought us to a good place as a society. It has become "cool" to put each other down.
ReplyDeleteWhat's even sadder, is that it's almost expected. As a consultant, and a trainer, I do my best to find the best in each one I come across, and vocalize my positiveness to them. But I remember one kid I was giving a good report to telling me I was "Blowing sunshine up his skirt..." People have a hard time in this day and age taking a compliment sometimes as well.
I think that what you have to say is very timely... even if written ages ago. Thank you for the reminder!
It's "the tempting moment" that caught my eye. What is the temptation? I believe it is to set oneself above another. The irony is that harsh words never make you better, they only make you worse. But for one brief moment you can believe that you are "better." And where does the need to be "better than" come from?
ReplyDeleteI think it comes from pain. Every where we look our brothers and sisters are steeped in pain. Has there ever been such a painful time in history? Has there ever been such an ability to wallow in our own pain and then the pain of others.
Sadly, fewer and fewer know where to go to be healed. Fewer and fewer have the faith to ask "Is there any balm in Gilead."
Thank you for a thought provoking post. I shall try harder to see the temptation for what it is...a lie. Which is, I suppose what all temptation is, isn't it?